Review: The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

Aaaand..I’m finally writing it. See, I do this thing where I tell you guys the day I’m going to post a review, then post it 5 days later. Keep you on your toes, eh? Yeah, not buying it either. Master … Continue reading

LOL (2012)

As a new year at school begins, Lola’s heart is broken by her boyfriend, though soon she’s surprised by her best friend, promising musician Kyle, who reveals his feelings for her.

I’ve got no excuses. I think I got possessed by a demon who loves bad movies and that’s the only reason I watched this. Really, you have to believe me!

I swear I thought I saw my share of bad movies after watching Blacksheep but how wrong  was I? This is basically a movie with no plot whatsoever.

No redeeming qualities, no rough gems hidden in plain sight, nada.

I mean when you’ve got scenes like a teen f**king a frozen chicken with a webcam, a supposedly responsable mother riding a motorcycle side-saddle, a granddaughter letting one of her friends drug her grandmother so they can “party”, you know there’s no way it can get worse. Continue reading

Review: We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

I should’ve known. Seriously, I’m better than this, I should have been immediately able of telling this was going to be one of those movies. You know what I’m talking about, one of those movies that annoys the sh*t out of you. Yeah.

~~ It will contain SPOILERS.~~

We Need to Talk About Kevin is about a mother, Eva Khatchadourian(Tilda Swinton), who struggles to connect with her child, Kevin, even though he’s strange and mean and cruel.  Continue reading

Review: The Last Exorcism (2010)

I’ve been wanting to see this movie since it came out in 2010, but either didn’t have the time or I forgot about it entirely (shame on me, I know).  I am nothing if not a huge fan of Eli Roth’s work, be it as director, producer or actor. Say what you will, but his twisted, gory movies are good.

Having seen Cabin Fever, Hostel and it’s sequel, when I heard Roth was producing this I instantly thought of a gorefest/brutal horror movie. My, how wrong I was.

The Last Exorcism tells the story of minister Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian), a man who lost his faith in God. He routinely performs fake exorcisms on “possessed” people, operating on a simple belief: if said people think they need an exorcism, then he will act accordingly and eventually help them get better. After reading the story of a young boy who died during such an exorcism, he comes to realize the dangers the practice possesses. He agrees to have one last exorcism filmed as a documentary so he can expose it as nothing more than a fraud.  Working with producer Iris Reisen (Iris Bahr) and cameraman Daniel Moskowitz (Adam Grimes), he heads for Louisiana where he’s supposed to exorcise Nell Sweetzer (Ashley Bell), a 16-year-old girl. Continue reading

Review: A Thousand Words (2012)

Whatever happened to the actor who played in Beverly Hills Cops or Trading Places or, hell, even Coming to America? It appears, over the years, Eddie Murphy has become another dime-a-dozen actor and is content with it. Just like Nicholas Cage or Adam Sandler. Shame. Money trumps quality, I s’ppose.

A thousand words are 998 too many for what I have to say about this movie: not funny. The movie is about a literary agent, Jack McCall (Eddie Murphy) who lies his way through closing a book deal with a guru, Dr. Sinja (Cliff Curtis). The next day, a bodhi tree grows on his patio and it seems every time Jack says something, leafs fall off the tree; one word, one leaf. When the last leaf falls, Jack will die.

A typical one-man’s-journey movie, really: from the busy, never home, hotshot agent to family man. Continue reading

Review: Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

Behold the magical powers of a good action movie! I did not find Kristen Stewart’s performance cringe worthy. Eh, don’t fret, I kid. Maybe. As the second Snow White movie adaptation this year (Mirror Mirror is the other one), Snow … Continue reading

Review: Mirror Mirror (2012)

Warning: spoilers ahead!

Mirror Mirror is the retelling of the fairy tale of Snow White, directed by Tarsem Singh (Immortals).

I’ve been dying to see this movie since I’ve first seen the trailer for it and let me just tell was such a disappointment.

Just like the original fairy tale, the story is about Snow White, who after losing her father, is left with an evil stepmother. After The Queen tries to kill her and Snow is banished to the woods, she meets the seven dwarfs who eventually help her take back the kingdom. And those are pretty much the only similarities between the actual fairy tale and this movie. Oh, those and of course the charming prince (Armie Hammer). Continue reading

Review: The Hunger Games (2012)

I have finally kept my promise, got around to reading the book so here’s the much awaited (hopefully?) review.

Based on the novel of the same name by Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games story is set in a dystopian future in the nation of Panem, which consists of the Capitol and the 12 surrounding districts. As a punishment for the past rebellion against the government and a way of keeping people in line, every year the Capitol chooses one boy and one girl from each district to be a part of the Hunger Games: a televised event in which the boys and girls have to fight to death and there can only be one winner or victor.

The heroine, 16-year-old Katniss Everdeen offers herself as tribute when her sister is picked to be part of the Games. If you read the book then you understand why Katniss does this, because she loves her sister more than anything else or in her own words “the only person in the world I’m certain I love”.

The choice to play Katniss was Jennifer Lawrence, starring now in her second film adaptation after Winter’s Bone. If you haven’t read the book yet maybe you won’t be so quick and willing to praise her talents and performance, but if you have then you’ll understand why I am.  She exudes the exact confidence, harshness and power Katniss has on paper. She also plays it perfectly during the reaping scene, showing utter desperation as her sister’s name is called out, confusion as her sudden decision sinks in and ultimately fear of knowing what’s next.  Continue reading

Review: Melissa P. (2005)

Melissa P. is an italian movie based on the autobiographical novel 100 colpi di spazzola prima di andare a dormire or One Hundred Strokes of the Brush Before Bed, by Melissa Panarello.  Although the movie doesn’t quite follow the book, they both tell the story of the sexual awakening of an Italian adolescent girl, Melissa, and her exploration of everything that sex means and has to offer, while trying to find real love.

Maria Valverde plays Melissa P. and she does a terrific job. Her performance is great, even though Melissa from the movie is different from the book.  She comes across as obedient, uncertain, submissive at times,  while in the book she’s the dominant one.

Another good performance comes from Geraldine Chaplin, who plays Melissa’s grandmother Elvira and whom you most likely remember from movies like Chaplin and Doctor Zhivago. Continue reading

Review: Bag of Bones (2011)

Bag of Bones is a TV mini-series based on the eponymous Stephen King novel. It tells the story of novelist Mike Noonan who, after loosing his wife in a car accident, retreats to their lakeside house in Maine, where he accidentally gets involved in a custody battle and starts receiving weird messages, supposedly from his dead wife.

Seeing as I haven’t read King’s novel, I couldn’t say how closely they followed the book while making this series or if they steered off, but I will say this: the end result was good.

Starring as Mike Noonan is Pierce Brosnan and it was great seeing him in something else other than action movies.  He’s great as a newly widower and his performance throughout the movie is credible.

The series is split in two 80 something minute episodes and I will admit that the story was a bit dragged out and slow to develop during the second one. But the beautiful scenery, the good acting, great soundtrack all helped in making me forget about the slow pace.  Continue reading